ADLs: Adults Doing Life
ADLs: Adults Doing Life
Because senior living should be about more than what someone needs help doing.
There is a moment that happens on almost every senior living tour.
The conversation turns to ADLs.
__ Can Mom dress herself?
__ Can she bathe independently?
__ Does Dad need help managing medications?
__ Can they prepare their own meals?
__ How much assistance will they need throughout the day?
These are important questions. They help us understand what kind of support someone needs, and they are an essential part of determining whether assisted living is the right fit. But sometimes I wonder if, in focusing so carefully on what someone needs help doing, we risk losing sight of the person who is doing the living.
Because a person can very quickly become a list of care needs: assistance with bathing, medication reminders, help with dressing, transportation. All those things may be true, but none of them tells us who that person is.
That's why one of the questions I find myself asking families on senior living tours is,
“What did Mom love doing before you started exploring assisted living?”
It's a simple question, but the conversation often changes when I ask it. The family stops talking about what Mom needs help with and starts telling me about Mom. Maybe she was a teacher. Maybe she loved gardening. Maybe she hosted every holiday dinner. Maybe she spent decades running a business. Maybe she was the person everyone called when they needed advice.
Those details matter because assisted living isn't made up of one type of resident. There are residents who need significant assistance with daily tasks, and there are residents who are still remarkably independent. There are people who need help getting dressed but can spend an hour discussing current events. There are people who need medication reminders but could still teach you how to make their grandmother's famous recipe. There are people who may need some physical support but remain sharp, curious, social and eager to contribute.
Sometimes those residents are the easiest to overlook. They can get themselves to the dining room, attend an activity and manage much of their day independently, so we assume they're doing fine.
But being able to do something independently isn't the same as feeling connected to the people around you.
We can fill a calendar from morning until night. There can be exercise, games, crafts, entertainment, outings, educational programs and social events. A resident can attend something at 9:00, something else at 10:00, have lunch with a group, join an afternoon activity and end the day surrounded by people.
And still feel lonely.
Being lonely with people can be harder than being alone. Being in a room isn't the same as belonging in the room. Attending an activity isn't necessarily the same as being engaged. And being entertained isn't the same as feeling needed.
Imagine that retired teacher. We could invite her to attend the community's book club. She might enjoy it. She might sit with everyone, participate in the discussion and return to her apartment when it's over.
Or we could ask a different question: “Would you like to help lead the book club?”
Maybe she would. Maybe she wouldn't. But asking the question recognizes something important: she isn't simply someone who needs things provided for her. She has spent a lifetime acquiring knowledge, developing skills, forming opinions and contributing to the lives of other people. Perhaps she wants to use some of that again.
The former teacher may want to lead a discussion. The lifelong gardener may want to help decide what gets planted in the courtyard. The woman who cooked every Sunday for her family may want to teach someone her recipe. The retired business owner may have ideas for a resident fundraiser. The person who spent decades volunteering may want to find a new way to serve.
These aren't necessarily activities. They're opportunities to have a role.
And roles create connection.
We often ask, “What can we do for this resident?” Of course we should. That's what good care is about. But perhaps we should also be asking, “What can this resident do?”
Not because every resident needs a job. Not because everyone wants to lead a group. And certainly not because we should expect older adults to prove their worth through productivity. It's something much simpler: people want to matter. They want to be known. They want relationships. They want to feel that someone notices when they aren't there. They want to have something to look forward to. And sometimes, they simply want to feel needed.
That is why I keep coming back to the question about what someone loved doing before they began exploring senior living. The answer isn't just useful information for choosing activities. It can be a window into someone's identity.
A person who spent 40 years teaching may still have a teacher inside them. A person who spent a lifetime caring for a family may still find joy in nurturing others. A person who built a career, a garden, a business, a community or a family may still have an enormous amount to contribute.
Moving into assisted living doesn't erase any of that. If anything, it gives us an opportunity to discover how those parts of a person's life can continue in a new way.
Maybe that's what we should mean by person-centered care: not simply knowing what a person needs help with but knowing what makes that person that person.
We will always need Activities of Daily Living. But maybe ADLs can remind us of something else, too:
Adults Doing Life.
Because the goal of assisted living isn't simply to help someone get through the tasks of the day. It's to help them continue living a life that feels meaningful, connected and, most importantly, like their own.
And perhaps the most important question isn't, “What activity should we put on the calendar tomorrow?”
Maybe it's simply:
“What would make this person feel needed tomorrow?”
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Thank You to Our Guest Writer:
Robin Ashworth
Director of Sales and Marketing
Church of Christ Care Community
Assisted Living and Memory Care
23621 15 Mile Rd • Clinton Township, MI 48035-3108
main phone: 586-791-2471
www.cofccc.org
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